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How Was it For You?

My father was a Circuit Judge and we agreed early on that I would not appear in front of him. I breached the rule only once – when a less than entirely diligent High Court Judge left early on a Friday and left my very young client with no one in front of whom to plead guilty to a baby-shaking manslaughter save my father (to whom some mad person had given a license to try murders). Much negotiation later it was agreed that he would take the plea. I asked for a psychiatric report. He agreed I could have one. I asked for 6 weeks. He replied, “Mr Myerson, if you practised regularly in this court you would know that my invariable practice is to allow three weeks for the preparation of such a report.” I suggested that he might make an exception. He replied, “Mr Myerson, I know of no reason to depart from my usual practice in this case. Do you?” I bowed so low that my wig stayed on only by a miracle and replied, “As you Honour pleases” in my most insulting and withering tone. I left the court.

Outside, the usher came up to me and handed me a note from the Judge. I opened it expecting perhaps an apology of sorts. The note said, “How was it for you?”

I mention this because I have been sitting this week and have had one of my former pupils before me doing a trial of some difficulty. I have always had a good deal of confidence in this particular pupil and they did not disappoint me (I am assuming they will not read this…). There were times when I was very proud. When I ruled against them on every conceivable point – as justice demanded, I might add – they too bowed low and said “As your Honour pleases” in as insulting a tone as they could manage. And afterwards I asked, “How was it for you?”

The reply, which I envy, was “Considering how you’ve been doing what you’ve been doing to me for the last two days, not too bad, especially now you’ve let go of my balls”.

I thought it was very funny and I’m still laughing. Have a good weekend.

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One thought on “How Was it For You?

  1. This one made me chuckle enough to comment on it!! This question should be standard practice, with points being scored for the most wittiest of responses.

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